In my last blog, I was reflecting a little bit about trust. When I got up the next morning, I found a message in my facebook inbox from a friend who is living in Austria. I met him last year in November at a Youth Congress here in Germany. We sat next to each other in a workshop and talked a little bit. He had just arrived in Austria and didn't speak German yet, but we nevertheless shared some thoughts during the break, switching back and forth between English and Spanish. With this facebook message, he sent me a link to his testimony. Since I like stories (in general) and especially stories about how God leads people to find Him, I just hit the "play" button and listened to his testimony while putting stuff away, cutting my nails short enough for work (retirement home) and getting ready to leave. Wow. Amazing story! Can you imagine that somebody finds Jesus just because he is interested in literature and "has" to read the book "Job", simply because it is the only piece of literature on a "most famous poetry"-list that he doesn't know yet? It's truly an amazing story about God's love to each one of us. He cares and it doesn't matter if we don't care about Him yet. If you have some minutes to spare or some little jobs to do where you don't need your brain that much, I encourage you to listened to it. It's in English with German translation. Here you go: Rolando's testimony. Or you can read it in the North Atlantic Union Magazine in the December 2007 edition (pages 10 and 11).Well... but what does that have to do with trust?
Rolando said one sentence that caught my special attention in my current situation. "The more I trust Him, the happier I am." It is so true but sometimes it's so hard to put into action! And the problem is - you have to try it yourself to experience it. You have to let go. You have to jump to enjoy skydiving! Almost every time I think about "trust", I remember my first time (indoor) rock climbing. I was visiting some friends in Carinthia/Austria and one of them talked me into trying "climbing up walls". Well, getting up that wall for bloody beginners wasn't that hard (you could almost WALK up there), but then he told me to stand on top of that thing with my back to him and the abyss and to lean backwards until I would overbalance. "I CAN'T DO THAT!" I screamed down. "You can!!" he screamed up. "Let me come down like I got up here!" "Come on! Try it. Don't you trust me?" Of course I trusted him... well.. did I??? It took me 2 unsuccessfull attempts to finally just fall into the rope. There was that quarter of a second when I wanted to scream, but after that, "falling into the rope" was actually fun. Hey, there was a person down there that I could trust... trust my life! A reassuring experience.
In his testimony, Rolando also quoted Proverbs 3:5+6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (New International Version) I don't know for how many years I've already known that verse by heart. 18? Or even 20? Not sure but definitely a lot of years. Why do I often still feel like kicking and screaming when it comes to trusting God 100%? Maybe it's because I already went rock-climbing with Him, but I didn't try skydiving or bungee jumping yet. I feel like I'm trusting God, but when push comes to shove, I realize that I don't feel comfortable trusting him in THIS area. God loves to push us beyond our limits though and I actually love it, too... at least afterwards...
Is there anything that holds you back from trusting your heavenly Daddy (for that's what he is) in that particular area? I feel a lot more peace since I gave that Bolivia story completely to him. I'm still waiting for an answer from the university, but I'm not going nuts anymore. And amazingly enough, Rolando's testimony came just the morning after I had felt sick to my stomach about that uncertainty again. God is faithful. I know that this won't be my last "trust issue" with Him, but I hope that next time I'll just read my own blog and jump!
Didn't give trusting him a try yet? I'll encourage you to let go. Dare to jump and you'll have a story to tell. My one will continue. I hope yours, too.
Blessings,
maria
PS: Thanks Andy for the pic (May? 2003)... and making me fall into the rope.
1 comment:
You know, I usually don't do this. Making people fall. Anywhere. However, you have to experience it in order to tell other people you've been rock climbing. You just wouldn't have been there without it.
Still, don't do it without a supervisor. Falling somewhere without being supervised can cause major injuries including death. And you don't want that. So, stay upright!
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