Crazy Weeks

The past 1.5 weeks have been... just crazy. I've been flabbergasted, annoyed, tired like crazy, happy, sad... and on Sunday I slept till 10.30am! The first time since I got here that I slept that long. I got used to getting up at 5am or 6am at the latest every day - and I actually don't dislike it. Well, it's impossible to put everything into one blog though and the coming weeks won't be less intensive, I guess, since I'll go on a road trip all the way to Brazil with my two friends Arturo and Nailson on Wednesday or Thursday, visiting the orphanage in Rurrenabaque (I went on mission trips there with Miracle Meadows School 2006 and 2007), stopping at the school in Guayaramerin and not to forget the "Death Road" from La Paz down into the humid and hot Beni region. Well, I already survived it in 2006 and I'm hoping, we'll get a bus with good brakes... I'll let you know though which night we'll do this part of the trip (so you can pray for us), but it'll be either Thursday night or Saturday night. I'm planning on spending some days in Brazil and then going to the other orphanage to do some garden work-out or whatever they'll find to do for me. For my last week in Bolivia, I'll come back to the university and on August 14th, I'll be on German ground again. Back to reality. Back to work.

You still want to know what happened in the past 1.5 weeks? Well, I fear, I won't have the time to write about it a lot - but it started with Tara and Ruan (directors of the school in Guayaramerin) showing up on Friday, went on with my dear friend David (from the States) tapping on my shoulders on Monday morning when I was waiting in the line to get into the cafeteria ("DAAAAAAAVID!!! What the heck are YOU doing here?") and kind of ended with my laptop breaking down yesterday. I called my brother today, but we couldn't fix the problem this time. It needs some "special treatment" and since I don't want to lose my stuff and I don't really trust people I don't know and who don't understand German (everything on my laptop is in Geman), I decided to leave my laptop with "my family" here and wait until my brother can have a closer look at it. He studied that stuff and I'm really happy to have a computer specialist in the family since I don't have a CLUE how these machines work. Maybe it's even better to leave my laptop here and not to take it on the trip. Might be saver...

The only problem I'll have without laptop: I can't promise anything concerning blogs anymore. I mean I left you without a message for quite a while and I hope I won't do that again, but the computer I'm using right now, for example, doesn't allow me to upload pics and I don't know how to get my pictures from my SD-card to my pen-drive anyways, especially at the orphanage without Nailson's laptop. Whatever. I'll do my best and I hope I can upload a pic for this blog tomorrow and tell you a bit more about my eventful past days =) One is for sure though: I can use your prayers!! Not just for the trip, but in general. There is a lot of stuff going on around and in me at the moment. I haven't felt the need for prayer as bad as I'm doing right now in my whole past 4.5 months here! I don't see it as a bad thing though. I feel closer to God than before, too!

I wish all of you a great day or a good night =)
I hopefully will be back tomorrow,
maria

PS (one day later): One of the many pictures that caracterize these crazy days... David behind me on the left, next to him Ruan and in the middle his wife Tara. Sitting on the left: a former student of Tara and Ruan. Was an interesting day. I ran around Cochabamba with David to find parts for a van he was repairing in Santa Cruz. Felt like old times =) Monday night, all 4 of them took the bus back to Santa Cruz.

Nostalgia

They moved me... =( Good bye room number 35. Two and a half weeks before I'm moving out of the dorm anyways. And they separated me and Virginia since there wasn't another room with 2 free beds =( I mean there are a whole bunch of completely unoccupied rooms right now since the high school students are already on winter break, but they are expecting a lot of other people for I don't know what seminars. Well, I guess I'll just have to make the best out of it. Unfortunately, the internet connection in my room returned just last night after having abandoned me for more than 2 weeks. Would have been easier to leave believing there was no internet anyways. I don't capture this signal in my new room =( Furthermore, I'll miss my morning sun. My new room is a lot darker and the sunlight doesn't really enter. Whatever... it wasn't up to me... but I'll give the new room and my new 3 roommates (2 future teachers and a theology student) a chance! Not everything changed for the worse though. We're having less space since the room is thought for one bunk bed but they put a second one in, BUT if you're holding our breath and manage to squeeze yourself through the gap between desk and second bunk bed, you have access to a bathroom and shower that are only for us 4!! I might not want to leave it in 2.5 weeks... =)

Taking off my wall decoration almost felt like starting to say "Good bye" though. Some days ago, somebody told me that he actually likes saying "Good bye". Mmmh... still didn't get the chance to ask him why. For my part, I would prefer not having to leave. When we were going from the university to Chapare by bus (about 5-6 hours, for the camping trip), I was once again fascinated by the nature over here. Just... breathtaking!! I took pictures and videos from inside the bus, but they aren't as great as they should be to do the original justice. Bolivia is a BEAUTIFUL country - and (apart from occasions like the story of my last blog) the Bolivians are really friendly and hospitable people. Since I was in a reflective and melancholic mood watching the mountains and lakes passing by, I did my homework for my language class and wrote a 5-liner:

Nostalgia
He perdido mi corazón,
En cada esquina del mundo un pedazo.
Nunca más en esta tierra
Voy a encontrarlo en un sólo lugar.
Estoy esperando al cielo.

Nostalgia
I've lost my heart,
In every corner of this world a piece.
Never again on this earth
Will I find it in one single place.
I'm waiting for heaven.

It's not a masterpiece of poetry, but it fulfilled the criteria of my homework: capturing the feelings of a moment. My wall decoration reflected this feeling a bit. It's funny though: being in Bolivia, I even lost a piece of my heart in Brazil. Having a whole bunch of Brazilian friends makes me want to speak their language better and to get to now their country better, too. Never thought this would happen, but thanks to the jungle hike, it did. Getting reminded of the "good byes" that are soon to come by nice friends and people with really good intentions several times a day ("Amiiiga María!! Don't leave!" "When are you coming back to Bolivia?" "Are you coming back next semester?" "Why don't you just finish here??"), I've spent some melancholic (to sad) moments lately. The good side of the story: it made me not just aware of the fact that this world is not my home, but it made me really FEEL it.

I guess we need these moments that make us feel uncomfortable in this world in one way or the other every now and then. I hope my Brazilian friend will change his opinion though, because I know he's looking for heaven and there will be no "good byes", at least not of the kind that we were talking about.

Hoping to see you over there, too.
maria

Curse and Blessing

Hi everybody! I haven't written anything for a while, but I've at least called my parents... =) For the weekend, I went to live with Eufronio, Cira & family. I hadn't stayed with them for more than a month, so it was nice to relax "at home". On Sunday night, we watched the soccer game Bolivia-Chile. Unfortunately, Bolivia lost. It was kind of funny though... Germany is fighting to make it to the quarterfinals of the European Championship - and I'm not really caring about it but watching South American soccer....

Whatever... Right now I'm actually pretty... don't know... angry... disappointed... furious... confused... I'm sitting outside here on campus close to the sport facilities and there are 2 teams playing volleyball. The first time I heard that one team screaming "Heil Hitler" I thought I didn't clean my ears this morning, but they continued to scream "Heil Hitler" every time they scored. After some minutes, I couldn't bear it anymore and went over and asked them why the heck they chose this slogan. They said something like, "Well... Germany... you know..." I only had to tell them that in Germany, they would be chased off the court - at a public university as well as at a Christian institution. Whatever... They didn't seem to understand what I wanted to say and since they weren't in the right mood for a history lesson, I left them and they continued screaming even louder what I don't even want to write down. *sigh* Somehow I couldn't write anything for some minutes. I din't know how to go on with this blog either. It makes me sad because they're not just kids. They are some years older... including even adults. Future sport TEACHERS!!!! Last time I felt like this was when I was watching the high school volley ball team (boys) playing against the theology team some weeks ago. The high school guys had taped their numbers on their t-shirts - plus the Hitler cross... *sigh* I talked to somebody who seemed to be responsible for them... don't know if it changed anything...

I don't know why I'm writing about that stuff. I wanted to write about something completly different... Already uploaded my favourite picture of this past weekend... It's just... I felt I had to write it down in order not cry or explode. I love Bolivia and the Bolivians and I can put up with a lot, but this ignorance... made me cry now anyways... I don't want to make them appear in a bad light... I had to answer many crazy questions about "Germany and the Nazis" in the States, too. Well, I went over again and it seems like they're playing in teams that have given themselves names of different countries. If that's everything they can think of when it comes to Germany... even sadder... I should stop writing about it and go and talk with somebody afterwards. I wish them though, that they won't have to face a "Hitler situation" themselves... or the "curse" of having a past like that.

*sigh* How to go on? Don't know.
The pic is from Sabbath. I preached in "Nailson's church" and stayed with them the whole day. It was a great day. I like little churches with family feeling. And I like little girls =) This church has a whole bunch of them. The pic shows Nailson with 3 of his little friends and they LOVE him. Somehow, they immediately loved me, too, so I didn't die of boredom =) I really enjoyed my time with them and when I went "back home" at 10pm after even staying for "sports night", I felt so blessed that I was wondering why they (deans or university staff) don't encourage at least the responsible students to go and look for a church where they can be a part of, get challenged, help - and grow. Unfortunately, it's the complete opposite. You have to jump a lot of barriers to be allowed to leave campus for church on Sabbath. I mean I can understand them and some of their reasons and not everybody feels and thinks like me either, but it might be beneficial - not just for theology students - to become active and actually "part" of a church instead of just belonging to a church formally but occupying more a role of a visitor. Doing "special music" every now and then isn't enough for me. Mmmh... just some thouhgts. What about you? Do you prefer the visitor role?

However, I'm sad I'm leaving so soon. I would love to become part of Arturo's or Nailson's or some other little to medium size congregation. The disadventages of a traveller's life...

Still in a strange mood...
maria

Catch-Up-Blog

Hey guys! Can you remember the first picture from Bolivia I shared with you (19th of February)? I thought it might be interesting how these Bolivians went on with their construction. At least I find it kind of incredible... seems like the future inhabitants of that one floor don't have the money for their walls... I was used to see houses in Bolivia that kind of don't have a roof, just metal bars sticking out of the last ceiling so you can easily build another floor on top of the last one if there is the need to or as soon as you have the money to do so. Well, I've learnt something new: if you don't have the money for everything but want your roof on top of the house... just leave out one floor and finish it later... I'm not an architect and I don't have a clue why the last two floors with the roof aren't tipping over - but obviously they have decided to stay up there...

What else? I remembered some things I promised you to let you know how these stories went on, so I decided to use this blog to catch up with these "opend ends".

Thursday night worship. Don't know if I already told you that they changed it to Monday - but I actually only finished my first series (4 topics about "Love & Co."). It was a really blessed time and it helped me to lose my fear of talking in Spanish publicly. I've still one worship prepared and ready with Power Point ("Letting go"), so if there should be a need - no problem. They asked me though if I could do a topic on nutrition and health, so I'm working on that one right now.
My sermon yesterday was a real blessing, for me and Arturo said for the church as well. He didn't ask me to preach about a special topic (like he wanted to at first) and didn't tell me anything about "his" church either, but prayed and just told me to talk about what God would give me. While stuydying for an exam on Thursday, I kind of had like a sermon topic in my had without thinking about anything related to it. It was one of my favourite topics though (summary statement: True community and growth are only possible if there is love combined with radical honesty), so it wasn't hard for me to put my heart into it. On Sabbath, Wendy did really come with me and for lunch, we were invited by a really nice and huge family (grandparents, their kids and grandshildren). In the afternoon, Arturo gave a short bible study for Wendy and another girl and we even stayed for the youth program. It was really a blessed Sabbath... and next week, I'm invited to preach in Nailson's church... He's Arturos friend (and since the jungle hike my friend as well) and didn't even tell me about it until last night. Arturo had told him I was about to preach in his church, so Nailson just anounced in his little congregation that I would preach there next Sabbath... I love these Brazilians... =)

I also think I didn't tell you yet that I'm not living with high school students anymore. I'm still living in my room in the part for the high schoolers, but all of my littly roommates were moved out for different reasons. Daniela went home due to health problems and was replaced by Fernanda, a 7th grader. After some weeks, the dean moved my two "grandchildren" to another room so they could have more supervision in the afternoon, especially with their homework. I lived just with Fernanda for 2 or 3 weeks, but some not so very nice things happened so that she at first had to leave my room and finally even the school =( Right now I'm sharing my room with Virginia, a young lady that is about to finish her degree (teacher) next Sunday. So next Mondax, I'll have 4 beds and more space for my clothes than I need =) Sometimes I miss my two little roommates but on the other hand I'm enjoying a clean room that I actually don't have to clean very often. Studying in the nights is a lot easier as well. Yeah, everything has advantages and disadvantages.

Another story is the "L'esperance orphanage" I wanted to work at for some time initially. Since they never wrote me again and I felt more and more comfortable here at the university, I didn't try to contact them again. Last week though, I got an e-mail that they could actually use my help. Mmmmh... July is vacation time, so I'm thinking of going there for a month if they think that I can be useful for a really short time period. Let's see.

Oh yeah... and I haven't been sick since the last time I wrote about it. I guess I've reached the state where I can eat almost everything the Bolivians eat. I eat apples without washing them, I drink whatever people offer me without worrying about clean water or not, I eat self made stuff you can by at the market, eat 80%-90% in the cafeteria (yep, the jungle hike made some difference... changed my tactic... I started to take my tomato sauce, garlic butter, honey, peanut butter... to the cafeteria - and the Brazilians don't mind sharing a table wih Nutella either...) and enjoying complete health. Even freezing in the mountains and the jungle for hours/days didn't give me a cold. I'm gaining all the weight though I had lost in my first two months. Whatever. I'm feeling great.

Right now, I'll go back to my books though, since I have my last two partial exams tomorrow and I don't want to feel stupid =) Have a warm and sunny new week - and fun with the European Soccer Championship!
maria

Lessons from the jungle II

Jungle hike... I'll never forget these 5 days and all of us who went are still thinking and talking about it. Last weekend, I went on a camping trip with most of the students who live in the two dorms. We were a group of almost 200 people. It was a nice time. We had kind of a "jungle adventure camping site" all for ourselves (including 3 funny parrots - see pic) and the offered programm wasn't mandatory except for worships and church - that means we had a lot of freedom. You could play tarzan or volleyball, play in the river or in the beautifully soft sand, eat chicken or insist on you vegetarian diet... the kids had fun! I had my little tent all for myself this time, so I had a great time, too. I slept a lot, read a lot, listened to sermons, had time to talk with people. Stress was just non-existent. On Friday morning I craweld out of my tent around 10am. No bells. Just happy kids who were screaming at the top of their loungs playing tarzan and flying through through the monkeyfilled trees... =)

BUT: I won't be talking about that trip the same way I'm talking about the jungle hike. It was a great time to "recharge your batteries", but it wasn't necessarily a time you will be talking about for months and recalling episodes of it for years.
It's the same with life. Difficult times often make you getting closer to God. You would like to escape the situation, but looking back, you have a lot to tell: how God has helped you in the most difficult moments, how he has opened doors of steel, how you grew with the challenges, how everything worked out for the good... All of us need times to "recharge batteries", but without times that push you beyond your limits, you won't really grow and you won't have a lot to tell.

Alright. With the last two things that kept me walking on the jungle hike, I want to - more or less - finish my jungle experiences. I have more stories and comments about the hike in my photo albums and if you want to know anything else - let me know.

Third: The power of music made me forget the hurting parts of my body. I was surprised, but music really works. On Friday, I didn't feel like walking any further from about lunchtime. My feet were aching, my shoulders weren't any better and the path turned more and more into a mud trail for one. Because the group I had been walking with in the morning was just too big, I changed after lunch and stayed with my chaplain Wilson and all the crazy Brazilian theology students. After every hour of walking, we stopped for a 5 min prayer break. As crazy as the Brazilians are - they kept singing/shouting all the time and we sang/shouted one song after the other. When Wilson anounced it was time for a prayer break, I couldn't believe that a whole hour was over... without even thinking about my shoulders nor feet!! On Sunday, I sometimes used my MP3-player to just keep walking with the rythm. In the afternoon, when my feet were screaming for dry socks and shoes, I was singing songs with Rafael. One after the other. We stopped singing for a while to mourn about our sore feet and shoulders, but soon realized that it wasn't a great idea to pitty ourselves. So we went back to singing - Portuguese, Spanish, English - everything we knew, and made it to the "camping site" for the night in pretty high spirits.
If you never tried to sing when you are down, hurting or pittying yourself - give it a try! It might change your day and your whole perception of the things around you!

Last but not least: The aim prevented me from giving up. I don't know what the ohters were thinking about, but all of us had something we were looking for, something that motivated us to go on. For a lot of them, it was food. They hadn't been very creative with their menu and after 3 days, I can understand that you don't want to see any more peanuts with granola. You should have heard them scream when we encountered 4 cows on Monday around lunch time! Well, the cows didn't have to fear me =) I was looking forward to a pair of dry socks, a hot shower and my bed with my warmer sleeping bag.
Do you have something you're living for? Is it something that is WORTH living for? Without a vision, without an aim, it's pretty hard to face the tougher times in you life!

The hike didn't transform me into an angel or an all-knowing sage, but I had a lot of time to think and pray during these 5 days and I don't want to trade this experience for anything. And I don't want to trade my new Brazilian/Mexican friends for anything either!

Happy Sabbath!
maria

PS: If you're reading this blog today - I could need some prayers for tomorrow since I'll have the sermon in the church my Mexican friend Arturo is leading/pastoring. It's also the closest church for my (Catholic) friend and classmate Wendy, who went with me on the hike. We invited her and she said she would come! She's thinking about baptism but has some stuggles. She can use some prayers, too! Thank you!

Lessons from the jungle I

I actually managed to upload the video I was talking about in my "jungle hike blog". I was trying to upload some more videos, but the problem is that the signal I'm using to get into the internet is very weak and it's constantly throwing me out. I mean at least every 30 minutes. With the slow connection though, it can take about an hour to upload a short video... Well, if it should work to upload more videos one day, I'll let you know. Uploading pics needs some time, too, but it's a lot easier. I already uploaded a whole bunch of pics of the jungle hike and of the beautiful nature of Carrasco National Park on facebook. Both albums are still under construction, but since it might take a week or two until I'll be able to finish them (I'm wating for some pictures from a friend) , I though I would already let you know that I'm working on SOMETHING when I'm not writing blogs =)

I promised you to tell you about the things I've learned on that hike. I'm actually in my week of my second partial exams (finals will be end of June), but you can't study all the time anyways and I've only 3 of 7 left :) So I figured out, I could afford to write a least one blog... =)

Looking back, I can't really explain how we all survived it without a big revolution or people who just refused to walk any further. Yes, we had some disputes on the way about the question how to go on (one single group, fast ones advancing and getting help for Glausinane...) but at the end, we all got out of that "mud hole" on the same day. I can only talk for myself what kept me going, but I guess there are more people who share my feelings about that topic.

First and most important: I didn't know the whole "story". I went on that trip because I didn't really know what was expecting me. I was walking in a pretty good mood on Thursday in spite of hurting shoulders because I didn't think we would be walking on Friday until it was dark and on Sabbath no matter what. On Friday, I was already only waiting for the next "corner" because I hoped, I would find the rest eating lunch behind it. Every time there was the hope it would be this one. Well, we ate lunch pretty late... On Sabbath, there was still the hope we would get out on Sunday, maybe not at 3pm like planned, but at least before dark. On Sunday, I walked the whole day in wet clothes and with hurting and wet feet (my feet looked pretty funny that night...) because Wilson had said something about nine hours in the morning and we were walking quite fast and almost without breaks. (We arrived at the place with the buses on Monday around 3pm...)
Sometimes it's good not to know everything. I wouldn't want to know the rest of my life in advance. I'm also happy God doesn't show me all my faults at once. And I'm glad I don't know exactly how the last days of this world will look like for me. There might be times when you would like to know everything - but often not knowing everything makes you give everything and push your limits without realizing.

Second: The group kept me going. I actually would like to go again with a smaller group of maybe 8 to 15 people and a little bit more time, but thinking about it - the size of the group made me go on. I didn't want to be the only one of almost 100 who gave up or was requesting more breaks, so I better kept walking and didn't even think about stopping. Furthermore, there were so many people who needed encouragement and even more who encouraged me (through words or their example), there was no space for depressing thoughts. Especially on Sunday, when I saw how the Brazilians were carrying their friend who couldn't walk anymore... wow, I can't really explain it, but their example gave me some unknown energy. I was still wondering about how God had turned my feelings for them upside down within just hours on Sabbath. However, there was this deep respect and the wish to help in some way with the new energy I felt. They allowed me to carry one of the smaller backpacks for some hours of one of the guys who was helping to carry Glauciane and I felt honored that they accepted my offer to help and didn't send me away because I was a girl.
As a Christian, it's almost suicide to try walking and fighting alone. I can remember a time in my young life when I was so arrogant to think that I didn't need the youth group of the church I was attending. They were so "wordly" and seemed to look at me as the "crazy holy one" anyways. God tought me a lesson with these guys I'll never forget! And with the Brazilian theology students, he continued my education in this area. Fellows, we need each other!!

There are at least two more things that kept me going, but since it's already late and I need my sleep, I'll tell you about them tomorrow =)

Have a good night!
maria

When God makes your day

Wow... I almost forgot about the European Soccer Championship... I guess it's because I'm having as much fun as you guys over there on the other side of the big water. So don't worry Zack, I'm fine =)

Some weeks ago, I was invited to take part in a kind of "talk show" about the topics of the Bible study guide for the Sabbath school programm for the Adventist channel TV Nuevo Tiempo. Since it sounded like a challenge (talking Spanish in front of cameras), I accepted. They gave me two topics of the next quarter but at the end, they only needed me for one. Was enough excitement for me anyways... =) I didn't really realize what I had agreed to until I stepped into that building last Wednesday and saw a group of them on the screen already "at work" in the studio. There were two pastors (at least I think Christian is one??), the always smiling professional talk show host Sandra Katerinhe Monlina and a student around my age. Well, I guess you won't get out of it now, Maria... and before I could think too much about it, they had "painted" my face and Christian greeted me with a big "Welcome"-smile.

Seemed like he would take part in "my" show, too. I sent a quick "Thank you" heavenwards when somebody was already putting this little microphone on my collar in the right spot. With Katerinhe and Christian, I had already two people who are great at creating a realxed atmosphere. It might seem like an insignificant detail, but in that situation, I was so happy to have somebody there I knew at least a little bit. (Christian helped translating for the chapel building group in March since he speaks English and Spanish and that's how I got to know him and his family.) Before starting the first block of 14 minutes, we talked a bit about the topic and where we wanted to put our focus... and it seemed like 3 minutes and the first part was over. We talked a bit about where to put the emphasis in the second part... and before I realized it, time was up again. Wow. That was quick! I felt happy and relieved. We took some pictures and the group for the next topic was already waiting.

In a really good mood and eating my "sandwich with Oreo", I walked into the direction they had told me I would find busses that go to Quillacollo (I had taken a taxi to get there). When I got to the main road, I actually kind of knew where I was and I didn't have to wait a minute for the right bus to pass. I stopped it and off we were. 5 minutes later, I saw that we were about to pass a supermarket. Since I hadn't been to that one before and I still had some time, I made use of the Bolivian bus system and cried: "Voy a bajar." It was really worth the stop! I found German bread (you know, bread without much air and a lot of grain stuff), whole wheat baguette, cream cheese and Nutella! I know that Nutella isn't really healthy and not very cheap here either, but I decided to buy it just that one time over here. Heavy German bread with Nutella... delicious! Especially since the Bolivians don't really know what to put on bread besides butter and jam. I miss all the spreads we have and make at home!! Well, half of the stuff you can buy in that supermarket seems to be imported from the States: Starburst, Skittles, IGA Ketchup, Philadelphia, Bush's Beans, Peanut Butter, Cranberry Juice and Welsh's 100% Grape Juice... I actually grabbed a can of chilli beans, too, because they reminded me of my road trip across the States and were surprisingly affordable. I left that "IC Norte" in even higher spirits than I had entered it. I couldn't afford to buy everything I would have liked to (the Grape Juice really tempted me because the Bolivians don't seem to like sugar free 100% juices but without a fridge I reasoned that it wouldn't be worth it), but that didn't matter. I felt like the richest person on earth with my bread, cream cheese, beans and Nutella.

The rest of the day was great as well although not extraordinarily special. I was back in time for lunch, did some laundry before running to my classes, we had Wednesday night prayer meeting in the university church and afterwrds I packed my backpack for the camping trip with the dorm... We were to leave the next day at 5am - but I'll use another blog for that experience... =)

For now I will stop, thank God for making these 6 months really unforgettable and go to sleep since I'll have two exams tomorrow. May God give you days like my last Wednesday every once in a while, too.

maria