Running away from stress!

Hi folks. I still didn’t figure out how the Bolivian w-lan works… Sometimes I have access to it but most of the time not. Well… Right now I’m sitting in front of the “Laboratorio de Hardware” (again) to find out why it isn’t working this time. Unfortunately, somebody has decided that it is siesta time or whatever because the door is open but nobody is in the office. Who cares. That’s Bolivia and I already got used to that part of life here.

My week so far was great. The cola finally solved my diarrhea problem and except for the nights (still the shouting-girls-and-slamming-doors issue), I really can’t complain. Concerning the nights – I’m working on it. The deans offered me to move to the part for the university students, but I chose the authority to do something against the noisy nights instead (since there are girls who want to sleep but don't have this kind of authority). With God's help I hope, I'll be able to help the girls to get at least 7 hours sleep per night…

On Tuesday, I finally made it to Quillacollo. I decided to do that trip on my own so I wouldn’t have to wait for anybody and I could explore my new surroundings without stress. I actually really like the Bolivian bus system. It's not only cheap but very efficient. You just wait for a bus that goes the direction you want to go, stop it and there you go. No bus shedules and normally you don't really have to wait either. It's very cheap anyways; the only problem could be the savety of the vehicles...

Yesterday though, I went to Cochabamba with Rodrigo (a funny/crazy Brasilian) and Denis (a quieter guy from France) because I didn't feel comfortable to go to town alone. I guess the picture doesn't need an explanation who is who... (yes, there are white people in Brasil). We had a great time although none of us really knew where we where and where we wanted to go. We took a whole bunch of different busses and taxis and at the end, Denis and I left Rodrigo because he had to wait at some office and Denis and I didn't feel like waiting in the sun for hours. I nevertheless burned my neck. At least some color =)

What else? I sarted to go jogging instead of going to supper. It has helped me a lot to get rid of mental stress and not to get angry with the girls in the night. I take my mp-3 player and just run and enjoy the beautiful view of the mountains. Maybe I won't get used to everything over here, but I'm determined to make the best out of all the rules. I won't skip supper every day I guess, but when I feel that running is more important than food, I'll go for running. Today I actually have time for both so I'll say "Good bye" for now and head off to my room to get my sport shoes.

Whatever is bothering you, I encourage you to look and pray for ways how to cope with the situation in a healthy way if you can't change the circumstances. May the Lord help you to develop you personal (stress) coping skills.

maria

PS: The internet is somehow working again.... at least at some places on campus...

Keep smiling! The sun is shining!

Hi everybody! I survived Friday and Sabbath with all the loud meetings… Actually, I skipped the Friday night meeting and stayed outside talking with my Heavenly Friend – and infringed another rule. Somehow I didn’t care about that though. I needed it so bad and I had already disrespected the “everybody has to be in the dorm at 4.30pm on Fridays getting ready for Sabbath”-rule (without knowing about it) so that one rule more or less didn’t count anymore. I WOULD HAVE GONE, if I could have stayed a little bit outside after, but right after the meetings, the deans lock the dorm. Actually, I didn’t completely disrespect this “everybody has to go to a Friday night meeting” rule since I could hear everything outside. I didn’t hear the kids singing, but the voices of the guy/choir that came out of the speakers were not to escape from (without leaving campus I guess). And I could count how often the sound system went completely crazy trying to destroy your eardrums for good. Mmmmh… somehow, there are so many rules here… oh my goodness! For the teens I think they are ok… but I kinda know what’s good for me spiritually, concerning food, bed times… These rules are rather counterproductive… well… I better stop. I actually didn’t intend to start complaining and I definitely don’t want to become sarcastic.

Besides all the crazy rules here, there are a lot of things I like about Bolivia. One thing hit me about an hour ago. I was outside with my roommate Daniela, doing my laundry (by hand…) and talking and after a long time I thought, “For how long have we already been playing with soap and water??” I could only guess that it must have been something like 1.5-2 hours. The only thing I knew was that it didn’t feel like lunch time yet. I use my watch here a lot less than back home or in the States. The feeling for time is somehow different. More relaxed. It might change when my classes start but for now I’m still enjoying my kind-of-holidays.

Oh, and my diarrhea is really getting better. Since the soft treatment (just charcoal) didn’t help this time, I went for the hardcore one (charcoal and cola) before allowing a doctor to give me the killer treatment (antibiotics and stuff). Cola is just great. I guess it’s simply killing everything in your stomach. I think antibiotics kinda do the same, but they continue killing everything in your bowls including the good bacteria. That’s why I try to stay away from them. I’ve been successful doing that for about 14 years and I’m really thankful that I’m feeling better and don’t have to go for the killer pills just because of some stubborn diarrhea.

I finally got some combs, too. I didn’t manage to buy one last Friday but I remembered that I got a little cute one in the plane. This Friday, I actually wanted to do some essential shopping – including pics of myself for the university – but I wasn’t able to get some Dollars changed (here at the university they told me to come back later since they had no Bolivianos yet and the ATM-machine off campus looked pretty destroyed). In the end, it didn’t matter anyways since I couldn’t go to Quillacollo (closest little town) because some Bolivians were on strike for something and the roads were blocked (one reason, why they couldn’t get through with the new ATM-machine). So I just walked to Vinto and when I found out that the cameras of the only photographer in the village were in Quillacollo, I spent my few Bolivianos on cola, nails, combs and toilet paper. Back to my room, I opened my beautiful set of combs. I had bought the set because I thought I would take a few in case one breaks. Well… I won’t have any problem with broken combs. They bend like they’re made out of rubber… Guess I’ll stick to my nice little cute plane-comb…

Whatever happens – I hope and pray that I won’t lose my sense of humor =) I already accepted the fact though, that I won’t be able to adjust to everything and I think acknowledging this will help me to enjoy my time here more. Adjusting to the States and my job there was easy compared to UAB and Bolivia, but once again I experienced it to be true, that bad days only make you appreciate the good ones more!!

Sending you a smile and some sunshine of a really good day:
maria

I just love teens!

I’m still alive! I don’t plan on dying soon… but you never know… The day of my last blog entry was actually the worst one (concerning health). My head started to hurt when I was still writing, then my bones felt like falling apart and one minutes I was hot and the other freezing. I don’t like doctors very much, so I tried not to make a big deal out of it since everybody here is so concerned about my health. Another girl didn’t feel well that day, too and they sent her to the doctor. Now she is on I don’t know how many pills… It’s nice to have people around you that care about you, but sometimes it can be too much… Well, the next day I just went back to sleep after breakfast when the girls were at school and I’m feeling a lot better! The only thing I didn’t get rid of yet, is my diarrhea.

Mentally, I’m feeling pretty good though. Today I had my first worship in Spanish. I volunteered to take the Thursday evening girl’s dorm worship on a weekly basis and I’m happy I did it. It was a challenge to talk like 25 min in Spanish, but I used Power Point and had them do some talking, too =) I hope I’ll need less preparation as time goes on though (at least concerning language) since my classes will start in 1.5 weeks. I’ll see…

Oh yeah… there is another (crazy) decision I made: I’ll live with the middle/high school girls… At least I’ll try. The girl’s dorm here has two parts – one for the university students and one for the middle/high schoolers. They have the same entrance, but are like two arms. Since there were no university students when I came and I didn’t feel like living alone (…that’s just not the best way to practice a language…), I lived with three lovely but pretty loud and talkative 10th graders for the first week. We were actually living in the university part because they were still repairing stuff in the other. Today, we moved into the real “high school part” and I said I would be willing to be kind of a mentor for girls who needed it, but I would love to have quieter company.

Yeah, and so I got three new room mates (see picture). One of them asked if she could live with me (Daniela, a 10th grader who loves her sleep, too), but the other two also seem to like me. They are the “babies” of the dorm (6th graders) and they decided to call me “Granny Marie”. I like them. They can be hyperactive, but they obey. At least most of the time =)

Why I made that decision? Mmmh… hard to say. I don’t care how terrible teens can be, I can’t help, I just love working with them. The other reason was that a lot of kids here don’t have a really Christian background. They may be Catholic or even Adventist, but they haven’t experienced what it means that “God IS Love”. Since this dorm only has two deans/dorm staff who work on a two-shift schedule, there is not too much time for personal interaction if you have to take care of 46 teens at the same time. As a dean, you are predestined to be the “bad guy” anyways. I prayed that God would show me what he wanted me to do in Bolivia. He gave me the “university student status” and I believe he brought me here 2.5 weeks before my classes actually start for a reason.

I’ll let you know how the Thursday worship and “living with the high schoolers” stories go on. For the first 4 weeks, I decided on a series about value and the different aspects of love and I’m praying that God will show me how to go on after that.

Thank you for your prayers, e-mails and encouragement. I appreciate that very much, even if I don’t answer immediately.

God bless,
maria

Welcome to Bolivia!

Hi folks. Thought I would drop you some lines and give you the picture I promised you on Friday. It’s the third internet café I’ve tried and I think I can risk uploading at least one photo here. Yeah, this funny house got my attention on Friday when I was about to leave campus. I looked at it and thought: Welcome to Bolivia!! Bolivians have strange ways of building houses. This is just one of them.

On Sabbath, we were in the cafeteria for lunch when it started to rain. Rain in Bolivia is something special, too. It normally doesn’t last very long but it’s more like somebody up there in the clouds emptying whole buckets of water than a nice and gentle summer rain. Well, sitting in the (new) cafeteria and looking up, I realized that the roof wasn’t done yet… The walls were painted, the kitchen was functioning, the windows were in, the sound system working; even a big flat screen had been already installed in one corner. Unfortunately, half of the roof had still big gaps… including right over the screen. Apparently no problem for Bolivians. They got some garbage bags out, climbed up there and wrapped the screen. They moved some tables, got some barrels to catch the water from the worst “waterfalls” and as the big puddle nevertheless started to become a lake, they saved the sound system, too. Welcome to Bolivia again =)

As you might have already guessed: I’m feeling better; that means I’m actually in a pretty cheerful mood. I thought I had beaten diarrhea with charcoal, but started again today… I didn’t drink any (self made) juice in the cafeteria since Friday night, just boiled water and herbal tea. Last night though, I thought I might try the juice again… Whatever. It isn’t that bad and I want to get used to the bacteria here anyways. I don’t want to have to take care of what I eat and drink for 6 months.

Concerning privacy and loud kids, it’s getting better. I discovered the prayer room and different places on campus where I can be actually alone. The Director of Student Affairs (a really nice person!), who was helping me getting started here the past days, talked to the deans and told them about my experience with teenagers and willingness to help out wherever possible. (I guess he told them my age, too… people over here think I’m 17 or something. When I tell them that I’m in university, they give me two more years…). So now I feel treated like 25 instead of 17… and I frankly spoken… I like thas a lot better… =)

There is more good news:
I’M A STUDENT! A really registered one with a long number =) I’ll study “Licenciatura Educación – Comunicación y Lenguaje”, that means I would be a language teacher if I would do all the semesters. Cool!!! Thank you Lord! And thank you Sergio Zableta (Director of Student Affairs). I spent half the day in all different kinds of offices, but it was worth it. I didn’t think they would let me study kind of officially with a tourist visa. I was hoping, I could just sit in some classes, help here and there, use the library and enjoy campus life. God gave me more than I asked for =)

I encourage you to tell God your wishes. The great thing is that if you are willing to take His answer, they don’t even have to be modest. I’m convinced that He wants to bless you in a greater way than you can imagine. Looking back and thinking about my struggles trusting God about the “Bolivia thing” in January, makes me humble and thankful at the same time.

I wish you similar experiences. Expect to be blessed!
maria

I`m here... I`m trying to adjust...

Wow. I’ve been here for just 3 days and I’ve gone through all kinds of different emotions. The only feeling that’s still missing is homesickness I guess... but that wouldn’t look like me. Problems don’t make me homesick that fast. I love being in different places too much for giving up that easily. It’s crazy though. I’ve only experienced this kind of emotional merry-go-round once (or whatever you call it… sorry, don’t have good dictionaries here…); it was during my first days at Miracle Meadows School in West Virginia. Felt similar, just different… =) I can’t actually explain and describe everything, but one mayor problem I’m dealing with right now is lack of freedom. Since university hasn’t started yet, I’m living with the high school students…

That makes it even worse, I guess, but even without the “high school rules”, I’m not allowed to leave the campus without permission… I got a special card for that where the dean writes in what time I’m leaving, what time I’ll be back, where I’m going and what for. Oh my goodness. I can’t even go to the internet café across the street without permission. I’m not used to that!! When I was here three years ago as the cook of a German group that builds chapels in Bolivia, I could come and go as it pleased me. On Friday, I violated the rule. I didn’t know about it and just left for a walk after breakfast and went to write emails and my blog before lunch. Well… in the afternoon I got my toilet paper and water bottle WITH permission… Lack of freedom includes a locked dorm in the evening (don’t know the exact times for every day yet) till breakfast. I don’t have a problem with getting up at 5am, but I wanna be able to go outside to have my worship. I’m not 15!

On the other hand, it’s kind of necessary. It’s not bad that people know where I’m going. I’m not in Germany. Peter’s dog got poisoned last week. He says they’re prepared for everything because over here, people first poison your dog and then break into your house a week or two later. They’re looking for a new dog right now… Locking the dorm prevents the wrong persons from coming in and getting my camera and laptop. Well, I’m not the person who wants to go partying in the night anyways, but I nevertheless love being independent. Let’s see how this story goes on…

Other problems I’m facing are diarrhea, the incapacity of Bolivians to manage their sound system in church and other meetings without giving you a headache, hyperactive teenagers that love to chat, scream and slam doors the whole day until 11pm and later (don’t know how they get up at 5am…), lack of privacy, guys, lack of silence… But besides that… I’m great. I can use your prayers though =)

I guess – and hope! – I’ll adjust soon. In the meantime, God gave me a lesson to learn: how to deal with negative feelings in a positive way on the one hand and when to express which problem to the right person at the right time on the other. These are to areas I want to grow in anyways. I don’t practice dealing with really negative emotions very often since I’m an easygoing person that normally adjusts to new situations pretty fast without mayor difficulties. God blessed me with a positive attitude and outlook on life, but learning how to deal with tough emotions will only help me to grow. The other problem I have is that I like to deal with everything myself. I hate to bother people, to ask for special permissions and especially in a new environment, I don’t express how I really feel. It’s also not very easy for me to do that in Spanish; to find the right words to explain what I really wanna say. Well, but that’s what I’m here for… =)

I’ll wish you a positive attitude for this day and for those, who don’t have it, the courage to speak up for yourself. Have a great day:
maria

I`m here... I`m fine

Hi everybody. No pics yet because I don`t have half an hour to wait for it uploading (I`m serious...!) but I`ll find a way to give you some impressions. I actually found the perfect pic for my first full day in Bolivia but I`ll share my thoughts about it with you next time. For now I just wanted to let you know that I`m fine, enjoying the sun, even enjoying waiting in front of or in offices for hours (wow... nothing to do! Just sit and relax! Just great!) and now Î`ll try to change some money and if that is not possible I`ll be at least able to buy some toilet paper (yea... everybody in the dorm here has it`s own...) with the 30 Bolivianos I have left from last year. Maybe I`ll even get a water bottle and a comb (forgot it in Germany...). Well, the world seems to be almost perfect when all you need is a comb, toilet paper and a water bottle. And that`s the way I`m actually feeling like. I got to send an urgent mail with a corrected term paper to my youngest sister, a sign of life to my middle sister and older brother (they`ll tell my parents and grandparents that I`m ok) and now I`m feeling like I could even live without a comb or the water bottle (...don`t wanna live without toilet paper though... but I guess my three very nice collegues in my room would help me out till I get some...).

Alright. Have a great weekend. I hope I`ll be back with an entry on Sunday.
maria

Good Bye Germany!

Spring is coming (pic is from our garden yesterday). I am leaving =( I'm looking forward to Bolivia, but I don't like skipping spring. Sometimes, you just can't have everything though =)

One hour and I'll be on my way to the airport... O my goodness... I guess I still haven't really realized that I'm really leaving for 6 months. I mean it isn't that long... but nevertheless. There was just too much to do, I had to work each day from Sunday till today and even now I still have 3 or 4 little tasks to complete. I'm looking forward to slow down over there. South America is a great continent to practice slowing down!

Whatever. I don't have very much time but I just felt that there had to be one last entry from Germany. Since I'm actually not in a writing mood either, I won't try to produce silly stuff just to write something.

I wish you a great rest of the week! I hope I'll be able to write my first entry on Bolivian ground soon. Till then: God bless!

maria

Chestnut Ridge Church

This is not Chestnut Ridge Church (CRC), but the Protestant church in our little town. (CRC pics here.) I took this picture on Friday on my way up to the hill when I was anticipating the sunset. CRC is much bigger, but a nice stone building, too. Since I was talking about "my church" yesterday, I thought it might be a good time to also say some words about CRC because I already mentioned it several times and linked it to my "English Input" section, too. Before going on though, I wanna say that I'm actually not really qualified to write about CRC. I've only been there once and if I give any false information, please Billy (or whoever else): correct me! I don't claim to know everything about it, but I just want to give you a personal impression so you might understand how I came to appreciate their sermons.

I don't like big churches. That's what I told the friend who invited me to come with him to CRC on Dezember 24, 2006. I prefer the "big family size congregations", but I didn't have any plans for that Sunday so I said I would love to join him. I was curious about that church he was so enthusiatic about. He had been a student at West Virginia University (WVU) in Morgantown himself and knew CRC when they were still a congregation of less than 100 people. Well, I was looking forward to some additional spiritual input, I hoped to get that Christmas feeling far away from home and I love to "broaden my horizon" anyways. So I didn't care about CRC not being an Adventist church and off we were to Morgantown.

On our way, JP told me about how everything had started. Living room setting and the vision of planting a church. In December 2006, they had just moved into a huge new facility they had especially built for their needs. When I was a teenager, I had been part of a growing church, too. We moved from 3 families in a small living room to a bigger kitchen, to a little special room and finally to a room for about 60 people. It was a great time, but when I was about 18, everything started to fall apart. Accusations replaced productive outreach and I remember some meetings that were pretty sobering for a harmony seeking adolescent. Honestly, I was curious about this exploding church. What did they do? How would it feel? I mean... did they only preach about love or what made the difference? I couldn't imagine the "just love"-theory. Wouldn't have looked like JP. So I had to wait until we got there.

A nice huge stone building with an even larger parking lot - and loads of people eager to get inside. A lot of young people! At the doors, there were beaming faces who greeted and smiled at you. They seemed to be old friends of JP because they almost broke his ribs bearhugging him. Inside, I felt a little bit lost because everything was so huge. I felt like I just entered a concert hall, but somehow it was different. If I would have been there on my own, I guess I wouldn't have looked lost for more than 3 min and somebody would have asked me if I needed some help. Then I saw the cookies and coffee (coffee... please throw your prejudice overboard and just read on...). I don't know how many different kinds of coffee, cookies and pastry they had. Everything for free, of course. I wasn't hungry but I noticed the pleasant atmosphere it created in the lounge. It just invited you to stay after the service to talk and get connected.

On our way inside the auditorium, somebody gave me a candle. That auditorium was huge! I'm bad at guessing but it has more than 1000 seats for sure (maybe even 2000)! We sat down and waited for the service to start. I knew the music wouldn't be very "conservative", but I had decided to not let that disturb me. I loved the message and the way it was presented. Yes, it was somehow "professional", but it didn't feel like a show. It felt real. Pastor Tim and Pastor Bill didn't try to play young, I guess they're just young at heart. They seemed honest and didn't try to pretend that they were perfect. At the end, CRC made me the greates Christmas gift of 2006: singing Silent Night with hundreds of candles in a dark auditorium. I sang it in German and felt at home far away from home.

After the service, we were standing in the lounge, I had a look at their library, watched the people around me, got introduced to a bunch of them and saw all the people I had seen on the stage walking around and talking to people, too. It felt like I could have walked up to Pastor Tim if I would have liked to or ask the people at the info point if there would have been any questions about anything. We even got a tour around the builing with its different floors and confusing hallways. That was when it hit me: WHAT A VISION! A lot of rooms were still under construction, but I got a glimpse of how that church worked. A big church needs "cell groups" and this facility wasn't designed to just host some services on Saturday and Sunday. Church meant community, meeting needs, using talents, encouraging people to get involved, creating a place for growth and reaching out to the unreached in your neighborhood. They like to emphasize that church is not about the builing but the people and they really mean it. By then I knew I had been to the first big church I liked.

Back to the woods, I checked out their homepage and learned even more. Their vision has grown with the task. Besides h2o, the WVU campus ministry, they already have 2 daughter churches. Pastor Tim came to Morgantown with the vision of planting a church. Now they're aiming on reaching WV for Christ. I started to listen to the messages online and there are three things I like about them: they are easy to understand but challenging, they're bible-based and practical at the same time and they're easy to remember because they have a logical structure and a clear conclusion, challenge or appeal they aim at.

So yeah... CRC is not an Adventist church (I understood that they are an independent church, somhow belonging to Great Commission Churches and Great Commission Ministries ) and we (as Adventists) have things we share with them like the baptism of faith and other aspects we don't agree on. Nevertheless, I included them in my input links because they have been - and still are - a big blessing to me. If you need a Christ centered message with relevance in your everyday life, go ahead and check out their media section. If you have more questions, get an account on theRIDGE social network or check out their weBLOG section and ask people who actually attend CRC. You could also watch their "all about us" video. Maybe just one more thing: I'm not saying I want to see CRC copied in my/our churches. What I wanna say though is that I would love to see dead churches finding a vision and transforming into living ones!

I hope you'll get inspired as well as challenged just like me.
Have a great rest of the day!

maria

The Potluck Church

Before leaving, I wanted to try the different options of uploading and embedding short videos. I don't know if I'll be able to upload videos in Bolivia because it took a while to get this one online, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to try it anyways. Here you go with the video I chose for today:



The viedo is 3 weeks old, but every other week it's the same: our church stays together to eat, talk, sing, pray, go on a walk and just have time enjoying fellowship. With the pastors and dear brothers who come to us to preach, we are known as the "eating church" with the best potluck ever. We might be a small congregation, but I haven't found a more delicious potluck anywhere else I've been to. Not even in the States... I'm sorry guys! If I'll ever have to plan my wedding, I would ask my church to take care of the food =) At the end of the year, we have our annual picture retrospection and more than 50% of the pics show people eating or in some connection with food. The Germans say "Food keeps heart and soul together" and there is something true about it.

Food shouldn't be the only thing that keeps a church together though. It shouldn't even be the main reason but it definitely has its place. There is one more thing I appreciate about my church: we are like a big family. There are the very young ones who just discovered how much fun it is to run and walk on your own and we have the "grannies" and "granddaddies" who unfortunately can't stay for every potluck because their strength is limited, but we take care of each other and make accomodations wherever possible. An armchair for brother X or hearing devices for sister Y - and you don't have to chase the young ones out of the armchair.

We are a family, but it's open for everybody. And I really mean EVERYbody! Blue hair, strange pants, "ultra-conservative" or "neo-liberal" - doesn't matter. Everybody is invited (including potluck, with or without contribiuting to the meal). I mean "the family" is setting the rules, but I've rarely encountered a unified congregation with standards on the one hand and such an unjudgemental attitude on the other. The strange thing is, judgemental people don't stay with us for too long. Either they change or realize, that we aren't the perfect church either and continue their search.

There are even more things I appreciate about "my church". We are a funny bunch of people. We love to and smile and laugh. Our services might be traditional, but they're definitaly not stiff. Smiling is not banned to the "afterglow" and our elderly folks are the worst at teasing you... So better bring some humor along when paying us a visit. If you're sad or in a bad mood, you don't have to put on a fake smile though. You might jeopardize your bad mood, but you'll find an open ear for you sorrows and they will find their way into our prayer book if you like them to. I will miss my church in Bolivia but I know that their prayers and thoughts will with me.

There's only one problem... distance. No, not when I will be in Bolivia since prayer doesn't depend on distance but here in Germany. If you don't speed, you need about an hour and that's just too much time to be really active together. I can't attend any youth or prayer meetings during the week and outreach together is hard, too. The closest churches are within (less than) ten minutes driving distance but it's hard to give up a family that you love. Well... I will see what will happen after I come back from Bolivia, but this blog is to everybody from my church who reads it (or will get it translated): Thank you for your love, your advice, your smile, your hugs, your prayers... and the incredibly good food =)

And just some little advice to anybody who is not part of such a family yet (it may be small or big, that doesn't matter): Search and pray for one. You need others to grow and they need you!

I wish all of you a blessed new week, but a special great week to my dear brothers, sisters and friends at SDA (Seventh-day Adventist)-Church Schwann, Germany.

I love and will miss you,
maria

Musical Memories

Two days ago I was writing about things that remind me of friends. There's something else that reminds me of people: songs. On Monday, somebody sent me a song that somehow fit the stuff we had just been talking about, at least the atmosphere. I guess I won't ever be able to listen to that song again without thinking of this friend.
On December 7th, 2007, I wrote my one and only MySpace blog entry about this phenomenon:

"I know my Redeemer lives. I know my Redeemer lives. All of creation testifies..."...and I see myself sitting downstairs in Tollgate church in Dr. Calhouns Sabbath school class. It is amazing how certain songs bring memories back to my mind and then I just have to close my eyes to feel the wind playing with my hair while biking home from university or see Arizona's red rocks flying past the truck window on the one side and David driving on the other. Since my mp3-player is broken and I don't feel like buying a new one right now (the "Project Bolivia" eats all my money), I haven't really listened to music lately. It's been something like two months maybe.

This week though, I took my laptop to university and because people were talking in the "Common Room" at the English department I took my headphones and clicked on "JP's praise songs" and thought I would be able to do my Portuguese homework now. Negative. "I wanna be your hands. I wanna be your feet..." Wow. Has been a while since you've been jogging, Maria! (It was my "jogging song" this summer.) "Here I am to worship. Here I am to bow down..." How I miss song worship with JP! "Every time I fall a little bit harder. Every time I fall..." How is Natalia doing??? Where is she at? And I see her dancing with a broom in the cafeteria. "I will be here for you. Somewhere in the night. Somewhere in the night." Hey Danielle! Haven't talked to you for a week or so! Hope you're alright?!? "You are holy. And you are mighty. You are worthy..." Can't believe that it's been more than 1.5 years now that I learned this song sitting around a campfire in the middle of the Bolivian jungle.

After a while I switched to other songs so I would get my homework done but tonight I deliberately listened to some of these songs again. It's just great. I love how God created my brain. Music is like a preservative for me. It reminds me of people that are dear to me, captures feelings of certain situations that can't be put in words and makes me thankful for everything that God has already done in my life. Well, and I just decided to create my personal "America Memories CD" =)

Reading it again I was like: "Wow! True, I didn't have an mp3-player just two months ago." It's another story, but God got me an mp3-player. Four times the storage capacity of my old one and I didn't pay a penny for it! I was so happy about that little black thing and I really wanna use it to strenghten my relationship with him. The last four days though, I didn't feel like listening to anything. I felt more like talking to God wherever I was and so I did. Tonight I didn't go home right away either, but climed up the hill on the other side of our little town to have a better view of the sunset. That's how I got the picture. It was a beautiful sunset and a perfect way to close my last full working week in Germany. Walking home, I could already see the stars and I couldn't help but start singing:

You are Lord of Lords, you are King of Kings,
You are mighty God, Lord of everything.
You're Emmanuel, You're the great "I AM",
You're the Prince of Peace, Who is the Lamb.
You're the living God, you're my saving grace,
You will reign forever, you are ancient of days.
You're the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End.
You're my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer, and friend.
You're my Prince of Peace and I will live my life for you.

And that is actually THE song, that reminds me of my year at Miracle Meadows School in West Virginia and a whole bunch of people at once... =)
Well, enjoy God's great invention of music AND you're not forgotten!!

Happy Sabbath,
maria

"And friends are friends forever..."

I got this teddy bear for my second or third Christmas. I actually don't remember it, but there are some cute pictures where a little girl is trying hard not to fall into the Christmas tree, carrying a huge teddy that is as big as herself. In December, this teddy got something to take care of: bed shoes, a self-made Christmas gift of one of "my grandmas" at the retirement home.

Packing 2 suitcases for 6 months normally takes me a while. That's why I just start early enough so I won't get stressed out the last day realizing that I forgot about the charcoal pills (they help with diarrhea) or other essential stuff. And to be honest, I love packing suitcases =) There is a German saying: "Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude" (the pleasure of anticipation is the best pleasure). Why should I wait for that to the very end?

And now back to my bed shoes. My first suitcase is packed. My backpack kind of, too. Now it's time to decide what to put in my second suitcase and that's when I thought of my bed shoes. I hate having cold feet and Bolivia doesn't mean that it's warm everywhere and all year long. Cochabamba is about 8360 ft (2550 m) above sea level and during our summer (their winter), it can get pretty cold in the nights. Yeah, so I decided to take them with me. If it were some ordinary thick socks though, I wouldn't take them. But they are not! They were made especially for me and I know I'll make sombody incredibly happy, when I write her a letter from Bolivia, telling her, I'm wearing her/my bed shoes.

I like stuff that reminds me of dear friends, family members... or special grandmas! My room is full of little things that remind me of people. The little American flag on my desk, that postcard from Teneriffa, the 41 ounce Starburst bag (that is 1.16 kg of my favorite American candy!), the 3 tealight holders on my couch table, the little transparent box with the sugar hearts that says "Love" one it, the original Korean chopsticks, the pen from Jamaica, the mini cup from Canada... (you guys know who you are!!!)

Sometimes I go on a "prayer journey" around my room and mentally fly from contry to country asking God to take care of my friends. I'm about to make new friends although it's already hard to keep in touch with all my old ones. It might look like I forgot about you, but I hardly ever forget about friends! That's another reason for having started a blog. My time is limited, but I want to let you know what's going on in my life; I want to share the blessings God gave me and encourage you to seek His friendship, too. He's the best friend anyways! He doesn't forget about you and he is eager to talk to you whatever time of the day (or night) it might be.

If you want to be included in my "prayer journey" and you didn't give me something to remember you yet, just write me a nice postcard and I'll find a spot for it in my room! If necessary, I'll get all the irregular Portuguese verbs off my closet doors. You are more important! And if you also want to be taken around the world... well, the most secure place for that would be a little card in my Bible =)

Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate you very much. Your mails, messages, prayers, calls, comments... but especially in these times of very fast ways of communication, I have to take care not to cut down on my communication with my heavenly friend. I'm working on making and KEEPING this priority no. 1 and I encourage you to check your priority list from time to time, too. Boyfriends (or girlfriends...), for instance, tend to have the potential of becoming no. 1...

May my heavenly friend be your best friend, too.

Love,
maria

"And friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them.
And a friend will not say 'never' cause the welcome will not end.
Though it's hard to let you go in the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends."
M.W.&D.D. Smith

About jolly ducks and other reasons for joy

Today I had some hours between work and classes and great plans for this time. I wanted to get gifts for my friends in Bolivia, check some things with my bank, look for mosquito repellent and stuff... Well, I just forgot that I was in the South (of Germany) and that they cared more about "Fasching" (the German carnival) than the eastern part where I'm originally from. All the stores and banks were closed and I even wondered if we had class (but we did). No gifts, no mosquito repellent - instead I got to walk 20min because public transportation didn't work properly anymore, I got wet since it was raining and I took some pictures. This little jolly duck was one of them.

Actually, it was an American duck and it wasn't easy to get it because it was a pretty hyperactive one, too. Trying to fly, chasing her older sister, hiding behind her Mom, falling, getting up and starting all over again. I watched her for a while. It was so cute. A happy, furry, bouncing, yellow-orange something in the midst of a grey and rainy scenery. Normally, I don't like rain that much because it makes everything look so... yeah... grey! Especially in towns. As a kid though, I guess I liked rainy days a lot better. Jumping into the puddles and getting all dirty was fun. I mean it wasn't me who had to worry about getting those clothes clean again...

Sometimes I wish I could be a carefree child again, forgetting about all the sorrows and burdens of adult life. Today though, I didn't envy that little girl. I felt pretty content and happy myself, despite of being wet and a bit tired. I just stood there, enjoying the scene and watching her having fun. It was actually last night that I realized that 5 of my 7 finals were already over and I hadn't gone through a panic-depression phase yet. I remember my last finals in July... I couldn't get myself to study, called people instead and was more frustrated afterwards than I had been before. Finally, I wrote an email to a friend I knew I could just write what was on my mind. Chatting with that very same friend last night, I realized that I actually felt more energetic and happy than before my finals had started. Wow!! That's not typical for me! I think I already wrote in one of my first postings that I'm not a very organized learner and I would lie if I would say that I've changed yet... but... anyways: THANK YOU LORD!!

I've really felt Him guiding and strenghtening me during the past two weeks. There was this Spanish translation exam last Wednesday, for example. We got 4 German short stories a week ahead and were allowed to prepare them. For the exam - we were told - we would get one of the 4 texts. When I was translating them, sweating over funny sounding Spanish constructions, I had the feeling we would get that one particular story. It wasn't my favourite one, but I just had this strange feeling without any rational reason for it. I prepared all 4 texts but paid special attention to that particular one. For the exam, our teacher put the sheets upside down, mixed all 4 texts and made each one of us take one. Lotto!? I assume you can guess which one I got... THANK YOU LORD!!

January is over and it feels like my "Goal for 2008" already has a positive impact on me. It's not the first time, but one of my favourite passages in the Bible became alive again. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let you gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer an petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2:4-7, NIV) Oh... and because I was talking about the little jolly girl, here another one, "And he [Jesus] said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3, NIV)

Anyone wants to join me checking out how high the puddle water can splash?
Rejoce!
maria

PS: Billy is back from his week in the wilderness! Here you go: Billy's blog

Light in the dark

This morning, when I looked out of the window, it didn't look as beautiful as on December 23rd (pic), but I nevertheless knew that it was kinda cold without even checking the thermometer. Why would I care? Well, yesterday, our VW Golf let us down. We were about 40 miles (64km) away from home when the gas pedal didn't have an impact on the speed anymore. Nice feeling! Last time I experienced it, I was on the "Autobahn" between two big trucks. This time, I was on a little country road and could pull into a forest path and the car even rolled to a little parking lot where it finally quit working althogether. We called the ADAC (German automoblie club) and waited for one of their "yellow angles" about an hour. It's was pretty cold and already getting dark but my sister and I were happy and thankful that it happened before we got unto the "Autobahn". The ADAC-guy then told us that it was the alternator (and since it was dark by then, we could even see the battery light glowing a little bit after he had jump-started our car). He couldn't repair it and there was no way we would have gotten home with a dead battery. Yeay... another 90 min in the cold and dark forest until the tow truck came! Somehow, we survived it but since our parents are at my grandparent's with the Passat for some days, we will be without a working car till Wednesday.

That's why the temperature below freezing point bothered me this morning. I had to bike to work today... Well, I love the outdoors and I love to tell people that there is no such thing like bad weather. There're only bad clothes. I remember my colleagues in West Virginia calling me crazy because I loved to bike to the bank and the supermarket (30 min one way maybe) no matter what. I mean it was faster than running around campus, searching for a) an available car and b) the keys to it... When I got ready to leave today, the weather was just beautiful. Clear blue sky. I enjoyed the ride! I even regretted not having taken my camera with me since I passed a flock of sheep and they already had their little lambs. So cute!!! Then I passed the horses and the little zoo with the deer. Wow. If there wasn't the way back in the dark, I would immediately forget about bus and car.

But there was the way back! I had never done that route in the dark before. At least not in the winter at 9pm when it was REALLY dark! I actually don't care about it that much, but since my parents do, they always find a way to get me home without me biking through the woods and vineyards in the night. It's just half an hour by bike but today it felt longer. I guess it even took me longer since I didn't go that fast. I just didn't feel save racing down the hills without seeing a lot. My little lamp seemed like it wasn't a big help but in the end, it got me home save. I even didn't run over that dark dressed jogging guy. The only thing I had to do was to really pay attention. I was listening to a sermon, but I have to admit that I only got about 50% because I was staring on the path.

I remembered Psalm 119:105. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." (NIV) Another verse of those ones you learn in children Sabbath school right after you learned to walk. It is so true though. God gave us a light for the dark and not so dark sections of our way, but often I just want Him to give me a flood light. I don't even feel like switching that little light on because it doesn't seem to be of great use. I don't feel like paying attention because I know God could just show me everything if he wanted to and it would be way easier for me. I have bad news. My experience shows me that God wants me to put effort into finding my way. He shows me enough so that I don't HAVE TO rund over that runner, but he wants me to use my light. Sometimes I might only see the very next step and I might have to slow down, but even that little light will guide me home. I encourage you to take Psalm 119:105 seriously. God's word is not just a dusty old book. As I'm working towards my "Goal for 2008", I feel an increasing need for this lamp.

May it shine on your path, too.
maria

I have more grannies than you! =P

I've been at work today again... It was a quiet morning. One of the few ones... So far I didn't tell you what I'm actually doing in the retirement home. Well... I'm not a registered (geriatric) nurse and so I'm not allowed to do all the medical stuff, but besides that I do everything that needs to be done (washing, feeding, helping people to get dressed...) Some of the residents are still pretty independent, others are in bed all the time. Some know exactly who you are, others are constantly meeting new people. When my Mom was trying to talk me into it, I didn't wanna do it because I thought I wouldn't like it and one of the worst things that can happen to you is a job you don't like but which is about taking care of people. Finally I promised her, I would at least give it a try... and now I really like my job. Yeah, you DO have to clean up some mess kind of every day - but I got used to it and don't care about it anymore. So what did I learn?

I never thought that it would be that much fun :) Working in a place like this, you develop a special kind of humor. It's not about making fun of people, but you have either cute, hilarious or comic situations almost every day. It's not easy to understand this humor for an "outsider", but as soon as you encounter somebody of "your trade", you have stories to share...
Since my Mom and I work at the same place, we have to share a lot now. Poor Dad. Poor middle sister. They have to listen to our stories pretty often. Sometimes I think, they can't stand them anymore, but I enjoy this "common denominator" with my Mom. We've never had so many conversations before and I learned to respect her job a lot more and to appreciate her as a colleague. (My Dad still has to wait for this a year or two... he's a teacher, so there is still hope... =)

I learned that it makes a difference to your day when you can make a difference to somebody elses day. Hey, and if you even get paid for it... there's nothing better that can happen to you! Honestly, I've been blessed by this job in many ways, but one blessing a "paper-job" could have never given me are relationships. The picture is actually already 2 years old, but the two people in there are still the same. One of them is my "special grandma" and the the other one is her "darling" or "sparrow" =) (strange, I know, but it sounds as weired as if Germans would call their loved one "honey"). Today, she gave me body lotion and told me to take it to Bolivia so that I won't forget her. Before I went to the States, she gave me some chocolate for the trip. I wrote her (and some others) for Christmas when I was in West Virginia and my Mom told me that some of them were really moved that a young and busy girl didn't forget about them. Sometimes, it is sad when a loved person dies - and it is even more disturbing for some residents there, asking themselves who will have the next heart attack. They appreciate a friendly and energetic young person more than I would have imagined. Last week, one of the older ladys told me that she liked me because I was always smiling and friendly. Having to be there is sad enough, she said. A smile actually doesn't cost anything but your own bad mood.

And there is one more thing, working with elderly people made me aware of: the character you formed when you were young will survive every other ability you might lose when you get older. Bad character traits might even get worse! Impatience, intolerance, lack of compassion, being demanding... might have a longer life than your memory. I mean as a young person, you tend to push uncomfortable thoughts about the aging process away or are happy to be able to look forward to Jesus coming back within your life time, but your willingness to work on your character now might save some people like me a lot of trouble... Actually even the opposite. The facility I work at is a Christian one and we have people who are early birds and pray for us staff before they even eat breakfast! You can be a blessing if you learned to be patient, tolerant, compassionate... And believe me - you definitely need these character traits in a retirement home to not go crazy yourself! (Well... and they might be pretty convenient for heaven anyways if there is not enough time anymore...)

This wasn't an exhaustive list about what working in a retirement home has taught me, but it were 4 of the more important aspects. I also learned a lot about the job of a geriatric nurse itself, but I would have never expected to like it that much. God can change your heart when you're willing to change your mind - and just try it. I knew I had a passion for working with young people, but God showed me that I shouldn't ignore the older ones either because he loves both and he never intended to have the different generations separated like that. We can benefit a lot from genuine and open minded interaction between old and young! And it might make us young ones a bit wiser because we can see what counts in the end. I wish you a "special grandma", too. It's really nice to be called "darling" at 7am when you wake a person up and are still tired yourself. I will miss it in Bolivia!

Happy Sabbath!
maria